Grief Done God's Way

My dads hands

It's been almost four months since my dad went home forever.  It still seems so surreal.  When I think back on December and even January it feels like I walked right through it without feeling anything.  It was as though I was frozen and nothing was real.

In February, I began to feel the thawing begin and I would find myself watching a movie that reminded me of him, (Sweet Home Alabama) or in the midst of parenting I'll remember something he did when he was raising me.  As the grief became more real I found myself trying to hide it.  Everyone else has moved on (or at least moved through this part) and I desperately do not want to draw attention to myself.

Just when I feel as though the sadness couldn't possibly become any heavier I feel the hands of my heavenly Father reaching down and lifting me up.  I can feel his supernatural peace washing over me, and I am reminded that this world is not our home.  Truth courses through me as the Lord gently whispers that all of us are going to die to this temporary world.  This world is fallen.  Death here is like a passport.  If we've given our lives to Jesus Christ, repented of our sins, and received his salvation, it's our passport to glory.  

Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge!  How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!  For who can know the Lord's thoughts?  Who knows enough to give him advice?  And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back?  For EVERYTHING comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory.  All glory to him forever!  Amen. ~ Romans 11:33-36

I will see my dad again.  He will be healed and whole.  No more cancer ravaging his body.  When my time comes I will get to stand before a holy God and throw myself before his throne.  I will worship with the angels and all the other saints who have gone before me.  This world will fade away as my permanent home becomes my reality.  


And then, I know the Lord will take great joy in reuniting us with those who have walked into eternal life before us.  He will present my dad to me for a holy reunion, one that will never come to an end.  

Paw Paw and his boys