I am so thankful for all the prayers and encouragement regarding my colonoscopy procedure today. I think all of you know that this was brought on because of a family history of colon cancer, (grandmother) suspicious symptoms, and labs that showed unaccounted anemia. This all began in April and so I'm thankful for it to finally be over.
We received such great news. He said my colon is beautiful! (grinning) He even took pictures but I thought I would spare you. (LOL)
God is completely glorified because Christ used this experience to draw me close to his heart early this morning while up doing the prep.
As you know my Father had Colon cancer and suffered greatly. I'm still in that surreal place of forgetting many times that he is gone. When a memory pops up I purposely put it away and get busy doing something else.
However, I am learning that sadness can bring a holy purpose. The emotion, even though it's uncomfortable, (Or perhaps because it IS uncomfortable) causes me to cling to my heavenly father like nothing else!
Avoiding the pain through busyness keeps the focus on "me" and what "I" can do to forget.
God loves me so much that he uses any and all circumstances to draw me close to him. Believe me, I had no idea how something like the intense prep process would do that very thing!
The prep process has you fast for 24-36 hours from any solid foods. This alone causes clarity. In addition, my prescription had me drink the horrible concoction at 5pm and again at 2am. After you drink it you're then up for several hours busily getting your body ready for the upcoming procedure.
The 5pm drink was not bad because I was surrounded by my family. BUT when the 2am prep time came everyone was asleep. Out of nowhere I found myself thinking about my precious dad. I started thinking about how sick he was during his cancer and chemo. Memories from when I was a little girl and all the sweet things he ever did began to overwhelm my heart. The loss felt brand new, overwhelming, oppressing.
God was faithful!
Because there was no one to call or talk to at 3 in the morning I had to cling to the one who knows me best and loves me most. I know that the uncomfortable emotions at any other time of day would have caused me to pick up the phone and distract myself with a conversation. Instead, I had to turn completely to Jesus and he was faithful to turn tears into joy. He reminded me (again) that this world is not my home. This life is fleeting. My home is heaven. It's my hope!
I'm thankful for a good result from the procedure, but I'm even more thankful for the God-moment that he allowed to take place. It was such a precious time with the Lord. The world was asleep and it was just He and I. He truly is the great comforter.
You are my refuge and my shield;
I have put my hope in your word.~ Psalm 119:114
“Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:54-55
