Finding Gladness and Joy In Grief

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, YET my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you”—Isaiah 54:10

On October 26th my mountains were shaken and the hills were removed.  My grandmother had stopped responding and now I sat at her bedside looking into this face that had been my constant companion, source of wisdom, and fountain of encouragment  all the days of my life.  As long as I live I will never forget her four final breaths. It was truly the most surreal experience of my life.  I felt like I was watching a movie..it didn’t seem real.  I was completely numb as the tears fell and I said goodbye.

But as I sat there in shaken numbness...I heard a voice calling out to me...Mary, though the mountains and hills might feel shaken and removed don’t cling to your feelings...cling to ME!  MY UNFAILING LOVE FOR YOU will catch you and hold you and I will cover you with my peace. 

I am just starting to come out of numbness and God is giving me JOY...unspeakable JOY and gladness in my grief.  It’s crazy that in the midst of tears there is laughter and joy and hope and it is all mingled together.  I see mountains and hills being re-established, as He is faithful to walk with me out of the valley.  It’s so beautiful.  I’m grateful that my hope was not in my grandma and in her life.  My hope is in the Lord and the life to come...I WILL see her again, but more importantly when I do, I will see HIM!

God’s Word is POWERFUL!  Please do not feel sad for me in the coming days and weeks as I process out loud with you how the Lord is speaking to me.  It is PRECIOUS and FULL OF TENDERNESS.  It is HEALING and full of HOPE and His Word is ministering to my heart.  I long for mornings with Him and His Word...

Exchanging Human Weakness For God’s Strength

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like Eagles; They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  Isaiah 40:31

Father, as I sit here this morning working through my journal, I find myself feeling discouraged by some bad food and personal discipline choices I’ve made the last two weeks.  Choices that bring temporary pleasure and long term consequences.  You’ve made great strides in teaching me and growing me in the area of self-discipline this year, but now we work on endurance.  There is still a root that believes that pulling in and pigging out is a way to rest and renew.  It’s not!  It’s a lie!

Mary, when you put your hope IN ME...”I” will ride across the heavens and renew your strength in ways your finite mind cannot even begin to comprehend.  When you trust IN ME to give you all you need...THAT is where you will find true rest and renewal.  It’s where I WILL give you Godly endurance, strength, and grace that carries you through every circumstance that comes your way.  When you INVITE ME in to completely and totally take over THAT is when you will find a supernatural strength to not only meet exercise and food goals, but to carry you into opportunities to love and serve others fully and completely.  It is here WITH ME that you find true peace and overwhelming endurance.  Get ready to  RUN and not grow weary, to walk and not grow faint! Your human weakness will be exchanged for my supernatural strength!

Ransomed & Rescued...

This morning I woke up and for the first time since my grandma was fully healed and went home to be with the Lord on 10/26 I felt moved to begin digging through some of her important papers and even glanced at her bible.  Within 15 minutes my heart hurt so much with longing to see her, to talk with her, to touch her hand.

Isaiah 43:1-3 (Personalized)

But now, Mary, listen to the Lord (not your feelings)  the One who formed you says, do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. (I paid a great price for you) I have called you by name; you are mine.  When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown.  When you walk through fire of oppression (misery/hardship) you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.  For I am the Holy one of Israel, your Savior!

Thank you Lord for your Word and for your Holy Spirit.  Thank you that my hope is not in the temporary, but the Eternal.  Thank you that though I cannot see her face, or touch her hand, or hear her voice...I will one day, and in your presence she and I will fall to our knees and bow in worship before you.  Thank you for giving her to me for the first 50 years of my life. Thank you for RANSOMING & RESCUING ME this morning❤️

UNFADING BEAUTY—Walk Your Talk, Peter Study❤️

“Rather, it [beauty} should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet Spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

—1 Peter 3:4

As I watch my beloved grandmother slow down my heart is drawn to this verse in ways that might not have been as significant a few years ago.  Her human life is fading, but her eternal life is looming.  It puts into perspective so many things.  I think of all the incredible accomplishments my grandmother has had...putting herself through college in her 40’s, going back and getting her masters in her 50’s, dancing with Dean Martin in her 20’s.  But it is the things that cannot be measured with human eyes that mean the most.  She was my constant encourager and believed in me when I didn’t see what she did.  She was my loyal friend that always made time to sit and listen to anything I needed to say.  Even in her weakened state she shows her love through her smiles, hugs, and kisses.  

My human heart grieves as I consider a world without her in it.  But my Spirit rejoices when I think that she is about to be made whole again. In this late and last season of life I am drawn, not to what she did, but the unfading beauty of who she is❤️

Choosing The Imperishable Things!

Week One Memory Verse

What a powerful night we had launching our first evening of our Fall S&L Series...Walk Your Talk!  We are super excited to read through the books of 1 & 2 Peter.  My heart is eager to get my hands dirty this morning digging into the Word and I pray yours is too!

Such an amazing time of Worship❤️

Salmon, Chicken, & shrimp, Oh my!  Thank you to Faith Covenant for a yummy dinner❤️

And through your FAITH, God is protecting you by His Power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.—1 Peter 1:5

Faith is the confidence of what we hope for and the assurance of what we do not see.—Hebrews 11:1


Look at that line...and look at those conversations taking place and friendships being formed. 

For Prophecy never had it’s origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. 

—2 Peter 1:21

❤️TIME TO MEET OUR PRECIOUS S&L LEAD GROUPS❤️

Cindy & Camille’s S&L Lead Group

Melanie & Michelle’s S&L Lead Group

Mary & Erika’s S&L Lead Group

Gail’s S&L Lead Group

Holliday & Laurel’s S&L Lead Group

Lynn & JoEtta’s S&L Lead Group

We ended our first evening with Living Hope.  It was such a God moment because the Lord placed that song on Christa’s heart and we never made the connection that it comes directly from our day one reading assignment from Peter...

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  In HIS great mercy He has given us new birth into a LIVING HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

—1 Peter 1:3

Behave With The END In Mind....Walk Your Talk Peter Study Week THREE❤️

You Are A Temporary Resident

This place is not your home.  You are a temporary resident.  When situations come along that wreck your peace, that feel unfair or unjust, hang onto  ME.  Be still and “I” WILL FIGHT FOR YOU.  Patiently endure Holy Bootcamps through my power that lives within you and I will do a miracle and change the way you THINK, the way you ACT, and the way you BEHAVE!  (In that order)

I warn you as TEMPORARY RESIDENTS—Keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your souls. — 1 Peter 2:11

How do I not get caught up in the crazy going on in the world around me?

1-ENTRUST MYSELF TO HIM:  He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. —1 Peter 2:23

2-STAY STILL:  The Lord will fight for you, YOU ONLY NEED BE STILL.— Exodus 14:14

3-PATIENTLY ENDURE:  God is pleased when, conscious of His will, He patiently endured unfair treatment.  1 Peter 2:19

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways.  As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than than your thoughts.—Isaiah 55:8-9

BEHAVE WITH THE END IN MIND, Mary😊❤️

Giving Birth To SINCERE LOVE—Walk Your Talk Peter Study Week TWO❤️

THIS WEEKS WRAP-UP:  

“So now you MUST SHOW SINCERE LOVE to one another as brothers and sisters—Love each other deeply with all your heart.”  1 Peter 1:22

OBSERVATION:  Sincere love is born through time spent with Jesus, Holy Bootcamps, and Obedience. 

Each morning as I sit at the feet of Jesus HE begins to do something supernatural in my heart and mind.  He knits together holiness through HIS Word, just like He knits together a baby and it’s entire being during pregnancy.  

As Christ speaks to me (through HIS Word) I gain direction, but I can’t stop there, I must walk through the labor process and all that entails in Holy Bootcamps to gain understanding. This understanding then leads to Eternal Transformation.

The whole purpose of Holy Bootcamps (aka: labor) are to get the mind ready to give birth to the FRUIT of transformation.

Bootcamps are where I get to imperfectly practice these transformed ideas and thoughts that come from being in HIS Word.  

My hope is in Christ and HIS power to give birth to fully formed fruit that displays HIS GLORY!  

When I try to walk through Bootcamps in my own strength I fail and fall.  I am hopelessly lost apart from Him and His Word.  

PERSONALIZATION:  Right now I am in labor.  I know that God is at work and He is knitting together the beautiful fruit of sincere love through caring for my grandmother in a very difficult season.  My grandmother is one of the most precious gifts to my heart.  She spent her whole life pouring into me, loving me, and being my biggest cheerleader.  

Dementia has come in fast and hard and it has taken the fullness of who she has always been away.  It must be so scary when she wakes and forgets where she’s at, or who we are, or why she’s in an ALF.  In her confused state she can lash out.  When she can’t remember she can accuse.  In some ways I feel like labor has been swift because she’s going down so quickly, but on the other side I feel like I’ve been in labor forever. 

I’m asking the Lord to show me HOW TO WALK OUT SINCERE LOVE, AUTHENTICALLY...Not because of law...but because of LOVE!  God loves me and my grandmother.  He has not forsaken or forgotten us in this hard season.  He is walking with her even in her confusion.  He is walking with me even when I forget to remember and become exasperated or discouraged. 

The goal on the other side of this labor is total FREEDOM.  What a gift to love others not based on what they do but who HE is!